"Owl" Give You Something to Cry About...

My CRUSH column for this month, now live on ForcesofGeek.com! Topic? Here's a hint:

Oh, Puns! Oh, Blogging! Oh, YOU!

Nerds, Start Your Engines!

Disclaimer: I'm officially done being a lazy blogger and back on the horse, so get ready for an SG flood (and file that under, "Be careful what you wish for").

Can it be that we are almost upon that time of the year again when the masses descend upon the San Diego Convention Center to let their Nerd Flag fly? Hard to believe, but we are just days away from kicking off the chaos know as Comic-Con International. Even harder to believe? This year will mark a decade of attendance for yours truly, though luckily the past few years have been for fun vs. for work, because trust me, there's nothing that will test your patience more than trying to run a 40' x 50' booth, signings, panels, staff, and talent amid what started as 50,000 in '99 and has now grown to 150,000+ fans passing through.

Every good athlete trains and prepares before a big event, and while this particular shindig doesn't really pull the athletic type per se, there's still plenty of ways to gear up for geekdom. Let's get the negative out of the way first with this little blurb about the sucky side of Comic-Con, all of which are valid points but sort of moot because they are also what makes Comic-Con...well, Comic-Con. I mean, people of various shapes and sizes in costumes (from the low-rent variety to the "Did you just walk off a movie set?" caliber) is nothing new, not to mention an incredible photo opportunity. The crowds are a given, and the fact that actual comics are few and far between at this show is also nothing new. In fact, I think it's kind of cool that A-List celebrities now clamor to have their projects represented at this affair, especially if that increases the chances of a Tina Fey/ "30 Rock" panel!

Even though actual comics may not be the focus, collecting certainly is, and companies have been quick to catch on to the benefit of creating "Comic-Con Exclusives" made available only on site (well, until they decide to make any surplus available online a month or two later). Here's a run-down of this year's must-have items, though quite frankly the only thing I care about is whatever the exclusive Uglydoll offering turns out to be.

And let's not kid ourselves, there are plenty of amazing comic book writers and artists on hand to meet, greet, and if you're lucky, get sketches or signatures from, including my former Michigan homeboy Geoff Johns, my former partners-in-crime Mike Mignola & Eric Powell, the super funny Bill Willingham, the uber lovely Gary Gianni...the list in endless. Artist Alley is a good place to start (and a great to find new talent too!), followed by checking out publishers' booths for signing and panel schedules.

So get to getting, and get ready for SG on-site reports all next week, and remember: last person to take off their badge once outside the convention doors buys the first round. Them's the rules.

Did You Miss Me As Much As I Missed You?

For the love of Pete (insert last name here...Janes? Spanitz? Snyder? These are all Pete's I've known). Has it really been a month since I felt like I had anything blog-worthy to say? No, truth be told, I've been counting my Facebook (and linked Twitter, because yes, I am THAT lazy) updates as "blog posts." That's what we call "phoning it in," people. Eesh.

It's not like nothing has happened in the past month, but I will, as they say, spare you the details and instead give you a rundown in a little format I like to call, "I like/ I don't like." Clever, I am.

I like "Nurse Jackie," the return of "True Blood" and "Weeds" (especially the ever-lovely and uber-talented Mary-Louise Parker...but what's up with the super skinny minny arms?). I like that "Rescue Me" is back in full force with more Damien, a drinking Tommy (yeah, what?), and a kick-ass soundtrack to match. I like "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" (despite their way, way too short season) and in particular, how Caroline delivers her words so strong yet can still break down. I like the teasers for the new season of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia."

I like (love) my dog.

This is the only baby I will ever have... just so we're clear.

I like the fact that "The Proposal" came in #1, partially because Mr. SG has a man crush on Ryan Reynolds, and partially because I've always liked Sandra Bullock (brunettes unite!). I like summer reading lists that include "Pretty in Plaid" by Jen Lancaster, "20 Times a Lady" by Karyn Bosnak, "Lovestruck Summer" by Melissa Walker, "Destroy All Cars" by Blake Nelson and "Hedge Fund Wives" by Tatiana Boncompagni, and I like if you accuse me of nepotism re: who made it on that list.

Karyn, Jen, Jolene, and SG making her signature kissy face... i.e. "The Calm before the Gansevoort Storm"

I like Spinnerette.

I like Cupcake Stop. A lot. So does Awesome-O.

Do you make pupcakes?

I don't like "Daisy of Love" nor her super-rehearsed camera delivery. I don't like "Jon and Kate," and sincerely fear for their plus eight because, let's face it, with two narcissistic parents, you're kinda doomed. I don't like Lady Gaga (yeah, I don't), and I don't like the new Black Eye Peas, nor Fergie's weird Freddy Krueger/Edward Scissorhands accessories.

I don't like maxi dresses. On anyone.

I like, as Macey always said, people who are nice to me. I like people who are real. I like people who respect my boundaries but accept my faults.

I don't like people who are constantly inconsiderate or insincere. I don't like people who always take and never give. I don't like people who don't have my back but claim they do. And I don't like people who are surprised by the things that clearly hurt me most, because it says to me that you never knew me from the get-go.

So we're caught up now, yes?

How to Entertain Your Nieces Without Even Trying

1. Two pairs of $10 sunglasses from Ricky's, dug out of purse during dinner...

Anna Monroe: "An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine...a money machine."

Ella "Little Ella" Bouvier: "This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand."

Sadie Channing:"The first 80 years are the hardest."

2. Ice Cream

Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate...aack!

Cotton Candy ice cream: file under, It seemed like a good idea at the time."

3. Shampoo, rinse, repeat.

SG is LazyBlogger.com

...am starting to think I should re-brand and re-launch with that concept in mind.

Anyhoo, random bits and pieces to keep you company on a Saturday night...

• Awesome-O and I finally checked out Baked by Melissa today, a walk-up window in Soho that offers a variety of cupcakes the size of, no joke, a quarter. They are remarkably delicious and there's something brilliant about the bite-size concept (primarily because it means I can sample several and not feel nearly as guilty).

• Mortified fans in DC, game on - we have a new show on deck for Tuesday June 2 at Hr-57. Get your tickets now!

• I can still recite the Girl Scout pledge AND sing the "Make New Friends" Brownies song - does that mean I can somehow finagle one of these badges?

• I want everything on this website, and a clean, sleek office with a view of Mt. Hood to go with it. Please and thank you.

• I am totally dorking out with anticipation for the premiere of "Glee" on FOX this Wednesday!

• I am also totally and completely addicted to "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" and submit to you Exhibit A, my most recent CRUSH column on Forces of Geek, as proof.

• Please add the following to your summer reading list ASAP: Lovestruck Summer by Melissa Walker, Pretty in Plaid by Jen Lancaster, and Destroy All Cars by Blake Nelson (and no, I am not just insisting this because these are my peeps, and even if that were the case, I'm the boss of you so you have to do what I say)

• My seven-year-old niece Anna has been writing fictional letters as part of a recent class assignment. I've received copies of three so far, and they are all hilarious and wonderful, but I think this is my favorite so far...

• And last but not least...GO WINGS!
  

Spring Awakening

Ah, springtime - with it comes an endless supply of robins for Awesome-O to chase, along with a personal urge for renewal and growth. I've been trying to apply the concept of of spring cleaning to the body, mind, and soul, along with my kitchen cupboards and closets. A few examples of my personal overhauls:

• Weight Watchers has launched the Momentum Walk It Challenge, which basically double dog dares you to train for and participate in a 5K. I've decided to do three before the end of the year, with the goal of running by the final event. My first 5K is this weekend, followed by another one in May that I'll be doing with Awesome-O (I haven't told him yet). Third 5K still to be determined. Make no mistake about it - I HATE running, even if it's running to the wine shop. I think this is what people call "stepping out of your comfort zone" - wish me luck.
  

• I'm in love with Neutrogena's Nourishing line of eye makeup, particularly the eye quad palette in Garden Party full of fun, springtime greens, and the Iced Coffee eye duo, a subtle neutral combo that's perfect for everyday wear.

• I'm also trying to get a (safe) jump start on the summer sun with Dove's Energy Glow Body Moisturizer with Subtle Self-Tanners. With the exception of my four (yes, FOUR) summers spent as a lifeguard in my late teens, I've never been one for "tanning" - I get really bored and impatient after an hour or so. Plus, let's be honest, I don't need ANY extra help in the aging and wrinkles department, so "glow" and "subtle" seem like a good game plan, primarily so I don't end up looking like this:
  

"I'm bringing sexy back..."

• I read recently that neon is back, particularly in the realm of nail polish, but as much as my 80s girl wants to embrace the concept, I just can't...yet. Instead, I am declaring 2009 as "The Summer of Preppy" with a particular emphasis on the classic navy blue/kelly green combo. I've got my eye on this Alice & Olivia kelly green silk chiffon dress and these navy and green platforms from Anthropologie...

I don't want to alarm you, but you're missing your HEAD...

...but in the meantime, I'll settle for these more wallet-friendly super cute flip flops and even matching my tootsies as well, thanks to OPI's Yoga-ta Get this Blue polish.

Attack of the Giant Flip Flop!

• Speaking of spring fashions, Dita Von Teese has partnered with Wonderbra to launch a new line of 40's inspired lingerie, and I'm intrigued. My only question is, does Dita's body come with each purchase? If so...SOLD! Actually, sold either way. Maybe the 5Ks will help. That, and squinting. A lot.

I look EXACTLY like this...when air-brushed.

• And finally...sure, the economy is in the crapper and layoffs have become a daily event, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to find a new job! I've got my eye on one in particular...it's like it was made just for me! (Note that this pays $5 per quote, and boasts you can make up to $50 a night. 50/5 = 10...so 10 drinks/men per night? Interesting ratio.)

A Shot of Portland with a Side of Seattle

The good news: a little R&R in the Pacific Northwest proved to be just what the doctor ordered. The bad news: there's a good chance that I may no longer have a functioning liver after said week, but hey, beggars can't be choosers. Also, I was a total idiot about documenting my week in terms of photos but that's what imaginations are for, right?

In addition to what seemed like a nonstop intake of white wine, the theme for last week was all about reconnecting with friends, clearing up a few misunderstandings, and being inspired by a thousand little triggers that will hopefully play themselves out in writing projects on the horizon. I also somehow managed to drag my ass to the gym every day while in Portland, stood standing during a Happy (7+) Hour(s) at the Maiden, procured a super secret advance copy of the Abbinator's manuscript and met the infamous Wally, took a trip down Portland theater-scene memory lane with the Portland Playhouse's "BobRauschenbergAmerica," overdosed on sushi, got completely overwhelmed and simultaneously inspired at Powell's, heard not one, not two, but three stories from close friends in crisis (which, as hard as they were to hear, proved to be much better discussed in person, so I was glad to be there to do so), and had some surprise quality one-on-one time with one of my most favorite people in the world.

Next up: figuring out how to bottle up Portland as a tonic I can take daily. Thoughts?

Say Anything

What I really need right now is a Lloyd Dobler moment, and by that, I mean a grand gesture, a pledge allegiance to the flag of SG, so to speak - boom box and Peter Gabriel optional. It's been a rough week. Not rough, as in I have terminal cancer/ my dog got run over/ Armageddon, but tough enough. And of course, my first instinct is to apologize for my troubles not being that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, but I'm trying to let that guilt go, thanks in large part to the advice of a friend much wiser than yours truly: "You are entitled to pain. To bitch. To worry about things most important to you. Don't have to feel bad about that."

So I'm allowing myself to feel it, and while I remain hopeful that the karma tide will take a turn in my favor, let's discuss how awesome it is that the "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" just got green lit. Let me admit with no shame that I now actually - gasp - admire (??) Kim Kardashian. Let us acknowledge the brilliance of Kenny Powers. Let's talk about how much I am coveting one of these Scrabble-inspired rings. Let's celebrate that I'm spending next week in Portland, a place that feels like a hug from someone who means it - likely because it's full of some of the most sincere friends I will ever know (not to discount my equally as sincere factions in NY, DC, LA...you get my point).

Hmm. I think I just realized that my Lloyd Dobler moment may already be there - just waiting for me in the 503 area code.